How We Thrive

As a special needs mother and chronic illness warrior, I continue to learn how to take a step back from certain moments - to untether myself from what expectations I have of certain experiences, loves. And over the last year of homeschooling our kids, both who have their very own, unique experiences of life, I have needed my Abba God more than ever to be quite frank...⁠

Our Bliss taking care of a special needs cow-friend named Duke at Aimee’s Farm Animal Sanctuary. One of our sanctuaries this past year. A place where we could let go and let God and see what might happen next. (Spoiler alert: the next - the times after therapy - were not often as good as in it! But * sometimes * they also were.)

I would love to reflect on the last year and say our days were organized and we flowed from task to task with ease…

That therapy was always just what we needed; we never had setbacks…

My writing was stellar every single day… and I wasn’t at all hard on myself when my body couldn’t meet the pace of my mind…

I took breaks when I needed them…

We loved one another well all day long…

But instead, I can say this - often little wars raged, fires needed to be put out; we burned ourselves trying to meet each others needs; and yet at the very same time our own oh-so-humans needs needed to be honored.⁠.. met.

And I couldn't do it.

I couldn't control our experience of life many, many days.

As we continue to homeschool through the summer, I have realized I still can't do "it" (control it all) .⁠ ⁠ Our days are often scattered.⁠ Our tender hearts are often confused by the people we do life with.⁠ ⁠ And so, I let go of the steering wheel - hands in the air - and say "it's all you Papa." Because it is.⁠ Because it is.

I can do nothing without him.⁠

Especially this.⁠

Motherhood, partnership, a career, life.

Will you drop me a comment if you’re on a similar ride? This letting go and letting God? This trusting our Abba-Father-Mother-Papa-Source even when life has made him seem less than trustable?

I am with you.

Always, always,

J. // for more Hope Notes from myself and members of our Moms for Mental Health community, please click here. We are all cheering you on. Always.