Happy Father’s Day?

As a special needs parent, holidays often feel less than holy. Do you agree?

For me, it could be our daughter’s self control rupturing at the seams…

Or it could be the immense fatigue from doing-all-the-things only to continue to be “on” on the Sabbath/weekend, too…

Or it could be that I continue to learn how to be emotionally available with the one I love - when his perspective and role is often not as depleting - his parenting not as demanding - and therefore it’s just hard to explain why this (every) holiday is hard…

It could be all of this… It probably is…

It probably is. And - and… God sees this, us, here - dear one.

It is not the holiday itself that is unholy, of course. Celebrating the gifts in our lives, fatherhood included, is a gift unto itself! But perhaps what is unholy here is our resistance to surrender. We accept life is full and we must march on even if our bodies and our minds are done (see most mothers everywhere in most developed countries every summer)… right? Yet we haven’t surrendered yet. We haven’t broken bread with true peace on this path.

Holidays and their wildness included.

What do you think?

If rest did not rise up to meet you in the reality of your mothering or caregiving path this weekend, I want to pause with you for a moment.

I want to pause and remind you that it’s okay to recharge.

This year, I took a day “off” ahead of time. And by off, I mean I allowed my kids to be completely disorganized - I met none of their needs other than fuel, safety, and presence (from the couch). I gave myself wide open spaces and permission to breathe.

Breathing itself is a wonderful thing.

Sigh.

We exist, dear and beautiful souls.

We exist.

And in existing - still - matter so much.

Cheers to the ones who exist alongside us. And read this love note if you’re struggling with Father’s Day. You are seen here. Always, always.