Can I tell you how excited I am for this series?
Surrender was my word for 2018. And as I prepare to dig into life-giving, purpose-driven goal setting for the coming year - it seems appropriate to share with you some takeaways from this adventure-packed year.
The next few posts will be all about my word - surrender. But this week I'm sharing about what might be the biggest launching pad for my personal growth in surrendering. Because in 2018, I had to hand over my body to reality in ways that I never expected. To cancer. And to God's plan in the midst of it.
Imagine this: While praying for healing from chronic disease, my circumstances got worse before they got better.
Sounds like the middle of a typical movie plot line to most. But it's not. It's my real life with chronic fatigue syndrome.
Surrender is an act of bravery.
When chronic disease meets special parenting, sometimes you aren't at your best. But, instead of fighting it, this year, I learned to honor it.
I've written at length about the melanoma story. About how I feared leaving my babies behind. About how I thought I was healing, before it struck.
So, I won't write about that again.
I'll write about where I started.
It's been one decade and seven months since I found lumps in both breasts. My hair was falling out. I was forty pounds heavier. I had heat rashes and a strange butterfly-like rash on my face; and several of my lymphnodes were swollen. The doctor said lupus back then. But he wrote, "mixed-connective tissue disease" on my file. He didn't want me to lose insurance coverage (this was when pre-existing conditions caused havoc for lots of us... and for some of us, it still does).
Since Google wasn't an option, I hit up Amazon. I bought a book by Kris Carr called Crazy Sexy Diet, and it changed my life.
First I stopped eating processed foods and replaced things like chips with plants (carrots and celery and vegan shakes, most often).
Then I began working out. Zumba. I hit my yoga mat daily. I started running again.
And lastly, I never turned back.
That's the thing about surrender. Once you do it, you don't stop doing it.
You do it again. And again. And again. Especially if you're living with chronic disease!
Does that mean you'll never try and take the reigns back? Nope. Because in 2017, I tried to. I left my at-home career for a role in ministry. I wanted to serve Jesus. (Note: Jesus is everywhere; even in your chaotic home.) It went poorly. Cancer struck. And I returned to my at-home career... and even better, my babies.
Friend, 2019 is almost upon us. What's God's call on the vehicle He's gifted you?
I bet it's more simple than you realize right now. Just... Honor it.
Food is fuel. Your body is a gift. And no matter what you're going through, you are worthy of well. Even if it comes in small chunks, like it does around here. (I'm so thankful for every single one.)
As always, I'm here if you need support. It isn't easy to hand over your precious bod to life's greater plans - but you can. I know this, because I get to live it.
I love sharing helpful resources! I may also make a small cut that keeps me fully caffeinated and my brain research-packed (because we can't serve from an empty well, and I really love collecting all the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I can for both of us.) Always, I'll do my best to keep you on the right path, but I'm no doctor even though I play one at home - often - and mostly for myself. Life with CFS sure keeps things interesting! Life with you + CFS keeps things full of JOY, too.