Mephibosheth bowed down and said, “What is your servant, that you should notice a dead dog like me?”
Then the king summoned Ziba, Saul’s steward, and said to him, “I have given your master’s grandson everything that belonged to Saul and his family. 10 You and your sons and your servants are to farm the land for him and bring in the crops, so that your master’s grandson may be provided for. And Mephibosheth, grandson of your master, will always eat at my table.” (Now Ziba had fifteen sons and twenty servants.) - 2 Samuel 9:8-9 NIV
Yesterday, I did all the things. Today, I'm doing all the things again. Including my first adaptive yoga teacher training class! Jesus and coffee mornings are now my extra favorite for the next four weeks. Honestly, I can't believe that I get to take one gigantic step forward to serve my wild-bodied tribe. I have such a big dream. And I know it's not complete without this.
Have you ever had a big dream like this?
My need is around our present circumstances - me with chronic disease, and our Wild with sensory processing disorder. I have an absolutely desperate need to understand how our bodies are wired. I'm still reading The Body Keeps Score - and I have to say, it's a MUST for anyone teaching body awareness. As I read this, my mind turns to my holy yoga study this week on 2 Samuel 9:1-13. When we bear witness to another human being, it must be independent of their appearance. Case in point - Mephibosheth was lame in both feet, but David didn't flinch.
Let me tell you a short story about when someone did flinch. Just a few weeks ago, I took Bliss to the bookstore. After a time, I noticed as an adult male with obvious developmental differences meandered through the shelves, and then left as we did. He stepped in front of us and walked through the door an older couple was holding open. My eyes flickered from his innocence to her ignorance, and my gut turned. I saw the disgust written on the woman's face as she whispered to her husband about this "rude" young man.
My heart broke for him. Not because he understood; but because she didn't. At least for a moment, she forgot that we're all human and flawed.
I believe that in order to bear witness to another human being independent of their appearance, we must first bear witness to the fact they are another human being. I feel like this is often missing on our adventures. Bliss will experience a meltdown - and because she looks like a typical child, we have received awful stares and verbal responses - including that her disorder is not her truth. It's all just an excuse. (It's not.)
When we recognize the humanity of another being, there isn't room for awful stares or angry whispers. When we recognize a flawed sister or brother as us just in different skin, there is only room for love.
In this world today, all there is is room for love.
Bliss and I may not look different to the world. But chronic disease and SPD sometimes alter the way we interact with it. I'm sure we've both been judged more times than we can count. Me - unable to pick her up mid-meltdown, or sitting instead of standing during church (by 4pm Saturday I'm exhausted). Her - melting down at seemingly "easy" life experiences, shouting at me and running away. We both just need love.
We all need love.
In beginning this training, I have a simple goal. If those of us in challenge or pain can show love to those who perhaps aren't, then maybe the response of those around us - our peers and persons passing on by - will look more like David to Mephibosheth.
They will see our hearts and our humanity - and honor what makes us the same.
In the meantime, I'll continue raising awareness; drinking coffee (of course) to stay awake while doing so.
We are better together. We are worthy of well. And we are made for more.
Choose more with me today.
I love sharing helpful resources! I may also make a small cut that keeps me fully caffeinated and my brain research-packed (because we can't serve from an empty well, and I really love collecting all the knowledge, understanding, and wisdom I can for both of us.) Always, I'll do my best to keep you on the right path, but I'm no doctor even though I play one at home - often - and mostly for myself. Life with CFS sure keeps things interesting! Life with you + CFS keeps things full of JOY, too.